永不停驶的地下铁

我们总是来不及相识
就匆匆别离
一次又一次 在地下铁分手。
我疲惫不堪，下一站是哪里？
会不会有一列永不停驶的地下铁？

放手，啟航。

我依舊小心謹慎地計劃，也依然沒日沒夜地使力跨步向目標邁進。憧憬期待仍在，但我已不再信誓旦旦地對自己的未來承諾些什麼了；因為開始相信直覺，相信緣分，相信命運，相信好人有好報，盡是相信了一些簡單有理的老生常談。

在無所謂中，找到一種坦蕩；在放手的時候，反而握住了以為早已消逝的感動，近乎煙滅的熱情。就現在，把緊握的拳頭鬆開；此時此刻，欣然啟航。

等一個情人知己

微弱的星光，從來不是為了需要照亮什麼而存在； 而有些人，也從來不是為了演你自編自導的人生劇而出現。

我們總是一而再，再而三的，用了錯的方式記憶生命的過客。知己與愛人一樣，可遇不可求呀。

因為黑夜中会有闪烁的星光，所以有了仰望的人； 而生活裡會有那些你必須等的情人與知己，因此才豐盛美麗。

重要的事

我們都擁有過最真最美好的自己。但一路走來，難免為了自我保護，為了面對龐大的煎熬與失望，而構築了各種樣式的「我」，在不同歲月中替代自己去覺知、去感受；而漸漸遺忘了，最想要成為的，最好的自己。

那遺失的一角，因為心知道，無比重要；所以竭盡所能尋找。

然而，電影裡的某句對白，日記裡的某個篇章，都可以確切地指出那美好遺落在哪兒；只不過，即便再次找到了又如何？ 時空變幻，事過境遷，那曾有的美好，在這早已沒有童話的世界中，只會顯得尷尬突兀。

一場冗長的耐力戰由此開啓。是被剷滅還是被發揚，就看你的本事。

有些重要的事，就因為身旁不再有人聆聽，不代表你就一定要遺忘。 沒有人比你更適合，去執手綻放那燦亮的，美好的自己。

终止流浪

迷失的人多，太多了。但没关系。我记得有人说过，那些活得最精彩的人，往往都不知道自己真的想干嘛；因此选择流浪，盼望经由不同的碰撞与结合，找到自己，从而终止流浪。我们非得要到陌生荒地转几圈，再返回原点才能更明白，当初为何选择出发。

喜歡現在的自己

不承諾不宣揚，不屈就不高攀； 時而熱情，時而冷淡，時而意興闌珊； 恐懼有時，安樂有時，憂愁有時，喜悅有時； 父母要孝順，友誼要經營，事業要打拼，但感情也要加把勁。 世界少了魔法，但多了體悟。 我要的生活，是有一定的要求與條件的呀。 不妥協，但也不強求；不放棄，但也不強佔。 追求快樂，我隨心所欲；脫離傷悲，我適時遺忘。 我終於變得不多愁善感。 我喜歡現在的自己。

安住自在

我不再明白世间的繁华寂灭，亦不再掌握命运的帆。
我只需要用个全新的角度来看自己，好让我的心安住于宁静中，自在地与自己共处。
时间有限，时光无涯；每一天醒来都是重生之日。

Song List of the Week

1. Fallen from the Sky by The Swell Seasons
2. So Lonely by Sonya Kitchell
3. Learning As We Go by Leona Naess
4. Be Here Now by Ray LaMontagne
5. Come Home by Findlay Brown

The Tree of Life

Not long after the amazing masterpiece Life in a Day directed by Ridley Scott that brought me to tears, there's this another movie called The Tree of Life coming soon to inspire me about the origins and meanings of life.

I remember a few months back when I first talked to my friend over lunch, he asked me which type of movie I loved the most? I wasn't sure what to answer, was he referring to my most prefered genre? Thrillers or romantic comedies? Or was he referring to the them which the film emphasized on? Finally I settled down with this answer: Movies that makes me think about life rarely goes wrong!

Voilà! I've got two in a row! I have a funny thought that maybe these encounters are aligned to let me experience a specified purposeful adventure. Sometimes I'd sit down and recall, when did I sign up for this self-development program with God? Like for now, I'm taking lessons on Life, via some thought-provoking indie films and my solitude travel. I learn new things everyday, exciting stuffs happen all the time even if I'm alone, all the time.

Well, it is better to travel alone than with a bad companion. Not that I had any, I just feel like its time to reconnect with my inner self and with God, though solitude, silence and surrender.

My Shrek-A-Licious Experience!

Just a blog post to brag about my recent Shrek-A-Licious Experience! I have always been loyal to Shrek related productions: The first animated fantasy comedy film and its three enjoyable sequels, the mind-blowing soundtrack by Harry Gregson-Williams and John Powell (you should really check out the main titles named "Fairy Tale", definitely one of the best tracks ever featured in a CG film score), The exciting 4D adventure in Universal Studios, and now, the latest Live Musical I just watched in London.

Besides the huge dragon puppet that obviously became most audience's favourite, I fell in love with the musical just by laughing at its hilarious jokes, let alone those sophisticated and witty subtextual connotations. The musical retained the movies humour. Although the orange tabby cat with a sword and its leather boots (Puss) wasn't in it, the hyperactive and annoying Donkey still made my day when he started talking.

Shrek: For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think.
Donkey: Example?
Shrek: Example. OK, er, ogres are like... onions!
Donkey: They stink?
Shrek: Yes. No! Onions have layers! Ogres have layers. D'you get it? We both have layers!
Donkey: Oh, you both have layers. You know not everybody like onions! Eh, cakes!Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers!
Shrek: I don't care what everyone likes! Ogres are not like cakes.

Besides, one of the Pinocchio's lines caught my attention too.

I’m wood, I’m good; get used to it!

I wouldn't stop when it comes to Shrek-sharing. I remember how my best friends and I used to repeat the jokes in the movies 10 years ago. Wow, TEN years.

By the way, do you know there's a website called WikiShrek? I just spent my 2 hours glancing through all fancy details about the movie and its characters!

Would you Stay or Run?

Would you stay, knowing Life would always be a little bit worse?
Or would you cut and run?

A Letter to Fellow Dreamers

Freedom is what everybody wants. We began to pursue freedom in order to flee ourselves from any form of entrapment when we started to realize that, flexibility is a gift and we didn't come so far to embrace a mundane routine.

Sadly, at some point we ought to have a firm grasp of reality and hold our nerves when someone insists fatalism in our face. The more I thought about how people associate hopelessness and despair with their goals and dreams, the more it pisses me off. However,the truth is we kind of deliberately chosen these pessemistic thoughts when nobody else is around to offer solace, didn't we? We picked up an odd sense of belonging if we get along with cynics. Prison turns out to be tolerable if we knew that nobody else is alive and kicking outside.

Yet, a foregone desire remains devilishly attractive. Sometimes I woke up in the middle of the night, startled myself with a sudden anguish; wondering should I or shouldn't I, just be mad at the world. Unfortunately, when my emotions are holding my brain hostage, I'd take my anger out on innocent people, blaming those who are responsible for my change.

I am apparently invisible now. Someone must have wronged me, right?

Though I've made numerous hasty irreversible decisions in my life, I assure you that I made them with all my best intentions at that moment. I don't care if it takes my whole life to rebel against fate, I'll make things right again. I may not know much about right and wrong; But I'm sure when it's right, it feels right.

Good Luck, Fellow Dreamers.

自创曲::寻路回家::

忧虑是多余的 如果我已知道终点在哪儿
补伤口是多余的 如果我已自在的幸福着
疑问是多余的 如果我已交托给神
挣扎是多余的 如果我有你为我守护着

你让我嘴角上扬 神采飞扬
真心的光芒很难想象
紧锁的要开敞 云雾总会消散
为你把笑容戴上 泪水抹干
人世纷乱有太多黑暗
若丢失了信仰 我愿陪着你 寻路回家

Song List of the Week

1. Welcome Home, Son by Radical Face
2. A Day at a Time by Ellie Goulding
3. The Lucky Ones by Tim Myers
4. Let Go by Imogen Heap
5. You Have Been Loved by Sia

Aren't we all sad?

Early symptoms of Depression scrawled upon my soul as I'm strolling around the city all by myself.

Everyone gets sad. Yes, Everyone I've ever met. But do they hold on sorrow firmly in their arms like how they protect their valuables from someone who might take them away? I don't think so. So it's just me then.

All my former glories and golden oldies assembled for my reconciliation of self. My humiliating failure of living-life-to-the-fullest gave me something to remember it by, a constant fear of losing my life before I could achieve something big. I attempted to ward off this irrational anxiety by figuring out the fundamental reason that inflicted these pains and sorrow. Turns out, it caused me to drown in palpable loneliness. Lately, useless whinings had become my signature tune. These negativity almost exhausted me and I have nobody else to turn to.

I was told that all kinds of life-changing events goes to an open mind. Others just simply tend to blind themselves from precious opportunities due to their insistence on defending traditions. Speaking of traditions, I'm burnt out by the rigid pattern of pleasure seeking rooted in our nature. We don't think we deserve happiness if we hadn't offered a plausible degree of sacrifice. Were our ancestors playing a practical joke with us? What happened to "we are born perfect"?

Statistically, all lighthearted people gets satisfaction easily, which can be very upsetting for the rest of us who are mindful of our thoughts and emotions. Given the history of my predicament thus far, maybe it's time to think a little bit less. Life is breezy when you take it easy, ain't it?

My Philosophy of Travel

Time is running out. Rather than settling down in a routine, I decided to shake myself up. Travelling has always been my passion and no one knew this better than my parents who have to tolerate with my endless yearnings over the years. I am starving for a journey to a foreign world again. The urge to getaway from my deadening lifestyle in Leeds is circling in my head every single day, I swear I could feel it in my veins. So I packed and left, for Venice, Basle, Zurich and Edinburgh.

It takes a lot more than a form of motion to satisfy the definition of travelling. From the UK to Switzerland or from Italy to France, or any kind of "here to there" is a never-ending competition between our expectations and reality. Places like Venice and Rome are filled with ravishing imaginations, streets and buildings romaticized by movies and stories we're told by lucky fellows who couldn't stop bragging about their splendid encounters. No wonder our hopes are high. Since there's a chance that I'd never come back to this place anymore, I ought to explore this piece of land thoroughly and bring back as much as I could. Souvenirs and Pictures; Inspiration and Revelation, I am prepared to grab a ton back.

Stunning scenes, Lucious local food and Cheap Souvenirs are warm reminders that the trip is worthwhile. But there's a tiny voice in my head keep on pushing me to ask for more. The Best Spiritual Journey of Personal Discovery Ever!-That's what I was aiming for as I planned my itenary. Isn't it ironic? I wished for a spontaneuos miraculous discovery so much but still I'm stucked with my controlling nature and the lack of courage to risk getting lost, ended up with the reliance on a Lonely Planet guidebook.

As eager as children for the trip to begin before I step foot on the land of Italy, I surprisingly found myself standing in front of an old Historical Cathedral, feeling exactly, Nothing. It's a kind of unexciting but calm emotion with a slight contentment of a regular Saturday morning, with no sense of novelty at all. I was devastated.

It happens, no? We dreamt of Graduation, Being chosen to become the employee of the most prestigious company in town, Get Married or even Becoming a parent; we bore ourselves with the repetition of these phrases in our diary and in random converstion, thinking that the more we talk about it, the closer we get in acheiving it. When we finally got there, all we have is just the proof of "being there". If life is just merely a dull state of oneself, what is worth living for beside some petty personal feelings that no one care except ourselves?

Then it dawned on me. It doesn't matter where you go, it matters who you are with. I was somewhere else, without you; but I'm now here, with you, and my life just got a little better. We meet new people to create our better days ahead, and we treasure our old friends because they are our personal travel companion. Most importantly, we take our family everywhere we go because they live in us.

Filthy to Fifteen

Last night, was indeed a special night. I cried like a 7 year-old. The thing is, I wasn't being tragic, nor surrounded by any fear-based sorrows anymore. I felt alive, with all my teenage memories refreshed. Re-birthing is the word.

A ray of light comes through the small leakage of my soul, with pains and sorrows flowing out like nobody's business. It was magical. I was pulled 7 years backwards, to the finest moment of my life before twenties-where love at first sight is possible and the best thing that could happen to me is still being anticipated, the simple and lovable fifteen.

My old self and my old will to live was still there-awaiting green lights to take over my boring unloved life with occasional suicidal thoughts. Then I asked myself, what if I let this young innocent soul without any sense of social expectations to help me decide my future?

Well, everyone dislikes changes, no matter they admit it or not. We have always been a devoted fan of traditions, but being a deviant now, doesn't really make my life any easier. Therefore, if the change is for a better good, why not?

Let me forgo this poor unfortunate soul who winds day and night on how unfair the world has treated him, and replace it with a familiar face-the fifteen-year-old ME. I guess he will ROCK the world! Just like he always did.

"Ready, Set, Go!"

An Empty Vessel

Living in my unsound and overrated dreams, occasionally stunned by the marvelous creation of somebody else's life, I am doomed to be unhappy as I'm am often victimized by my own optimism.

I have needs dear, I have needs.

If I voice it out directly, it will sound like a hint of irony, because I had internalized the notion that you can't always get what you want. Hence, right before reality steps in and vanishes it into total silence, I'd have to be in search of all possible justifications for my stubbornness in showing up everyday for this piece of work- becoming who i want to be.

To be smart, since it involves massive consumption of time, energy and my precious central focus of daily life, this has to be more than plainly attaining pleasure after careful calculation. Perhaps the reason I am suffering, while enjoying, is because I tend to be restless, even when I'm calm and focused; and I could be focused even when I seemed to be totally distracted. I have all the characteristics of a mess-up artist, who's in need of a glimpse of god for wonderous creation.

What now? I am sick of my inflexible structured life-plans, tired of everything that attempts to convince me to believe those life-is-tragic concepts-just by having them in thought puts me into never-ending pain. So eventually I had adapted myself with getting into troubles. I have this strange concept-only when I am in trouble, I could meet up with all my fear-based reactions which have known to be capable of making miracles out of nothing. Thats why, I am going to answer with pride: "Yes, I am in trouble now."With my head held high, I am completely NOT ashamed to admit that, I am in serious trouble because I have missed several deadlines. Besides, the fact that I'm now a non-productive consumer, often led me to unforgivable guilt and anguish. Now I will fight against IT.

So listen up, IT! Let me make this clear. I am not going to be diplomatic or tolerant this time. I want my passion back! Bring back my courage and confidence! And most certainly, don't you dare hold my imagination in captive anymore! I have the right to do anything that in my opinion, brings me pleasure. I am surrendering my control over everything I care. So if God is in charge, please set me free. If the mysterious divinity is my vessel of inspiration and strength, may it be generous to me.

"I am now emptying myself, with a slight hope to fill it with new exciting stuffs."

第一天，很英国

很想仔细记录英国小房间里，
那独特的氛围，冻入心坎的气候，令我辗转难眠的乡愁；
但我却只能呆在那里，
凝望着熟悉的照片与物件，
仿佛隔天清晨我又会回到自己的家一样。

我不敢全情坠入回忆的悲凉；
怕自己泣不成声，
连给自己一个微笑的能力都丧失了。

我遗落了好大一块自己。
明天会出现些什么，来让我重新拼凑，整合自己呢？

我们都这样伤自己

生活中有太多 必须沉默的角落
每次黯然独自啜泣 没人了解你
看镜子里 熟悉的你
依然深锁你的情感 封闭自己

你用超凡的演技 骗大家骗自己
习惯逞强讨好别人 掩饰你情绪
屏住呼吸 闭上眼睛
像是一切伤痛都能即时痊愈

当心碎声音震碎自己
你笑着说你从不在意
你原谅所有背叛伤害与不公平
却从未原谅你自己

努力爱着的人哪 总是累坏自己
翻转了整个宇宙 找到答案 又怀疑自己
努力爱着的人哪 总是看轻自己
送出了整颗真心 乱了生活 却还是换不到爱情

脆弱没有错 诚实没有错
你连任性地要求回报都没有错
做自己没有错 要拥抱没有错
你连无理地呐喊也都没有错